Hey viewers get ready to laugh as today we are here with the latest Funny Status for all of you.
You can use these quotes on your whatsapp status or on the facebook stories and if you all like this then you should visi to QuotedText for more similar quotes collection.
61) Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite.
62) I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St.
63) I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.
64) I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad !
65) The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
66) Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed ?
67) I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.
68) I’M Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.
69) During The Day, I Don’T Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.
70) That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die.
71) Don’T Think Of Yourself As An Ugly Person. Think If Yourself As A Beautiful Monkey.
72) I Smile Because You’Re My Family. I Laugh Because There’S Nothing You Can Do About It.
73) Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’M Tried Of Solving Them For You.
74) Sometimes, I Forgot How To Spell A Word So I Change The Whole Sentence To Avoid Using It.
75) I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script.
76) Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life, Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.
77) Sometimes I Wish I Was A Bird….So I Could Fly Over Certain People & Poop On Their Heads.
78) Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It It. But Run Immediately After Saying It.
79) Chocolates Comes From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. That Makes It A Plant….So Chocolate Is A Salad.
80) I Don’T Have To Worry About Getting Kidnapped, They Would Bring Me Back In Less Than An Hour.
81) The Biggest Difference Between Men And Women Is What Comes To Mind When The Word Facial Is Used.
82) My Idea Of A Good Morning Is One When I Open My Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, Then Go Back To Sleep.
83) I Hate It When People Are At Your House & Ask ” Do You Have A Bathroom ?” No, We Pee In The Yard.
84) They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug ?
85) People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
86) No. I Am Not Single. I Am In A Long Distance Relationship Because My Future Boyfriend Lives In Future.
87) It Takes Real Skill To Choke On Air, Fall Up Stairs & Trip Over Completely Nothing. I Have That Skill.
88) People Have Become Really Naughty On Whatsapp. Even Married Women Have Put Their Status As ” Available “.
89) When Guys Get Jealous, Its Actually Kind A Cute. When Girls Get Jealous World War Iii Is A About To Start.
90) Its Really Funny And Hilarious When Wife Thinks Shes Punishing Her Husband By Not Talking To Him For Days.
91) Everything Happens For A Reason. But Sometimes The Reason Is That You’Re Stupid And You Make Bad Decision.
92) Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’T Laugh At Yourself, Call Me….I’Ll Laugh At You.
93) When I Text You A Massive Paragraph And You Reply 40 Minutes Late With ” K “….Are You Asking To Be Punched ?
94) I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Light Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop.
95) When You’Are Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why ? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.
96) Whenever I Have A Panic Attach I Put A Brown Paper Big Over My Mouth…And Drink All Of The Vodka Inside It Seems To Help.
97) I Changes My Password To “Incorrect” So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect “.
98) When I Call My Parents & They Don’T Answer It’S No Big Deal But When They Call Me & I Don’T Answer Its Like To World War Iii.
99) People Often Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine, But They Neglect To Mention That An Overdose Can Cause One’S Ass Too Fall Off.
100) Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else, Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate.